Frank Remus

My Throat Loves Her Red Bite

I woke up feeling miserable, not in a good mood, from bad dreams from my past family. I was feeling sad, like I was grieving. I resisted the feeling of deep tangled waves of insecurity. But it was there. 2 crows flew low and cawed as they traveled. Many birds were in mid-flight. There were all kinds. I didn’t want to feel out of sorts or withdrawn. It interferes with joyful observation, and in the blue sky was the gorgeous cheek of the moon. I wanted to kiss Anna right then and there as the crow caws echoed around me. A crow cawed, flapping before me and cawing 4 times. In the dominantly blue sky there were long chalky bands of white cloud. The wind was mild in its breeze. I’m in love with Anna in this. I crave for her in this.

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The gravel was dry and I was aching for my heartthrob. The shimmering tree was losing its leaves. The ones at the top were flickering in honeybee yellow. You must not have one ounce of fear when it comes to exploring negative feelings. You must see the truth and the false as honestly and as openly as you can. I wanted to feel happy, but I presently wasn’t in my best phase. Perhaps reality is an experiment to be explored in a series of stages. Amid all of these, my heart beats for Anna, and my son Tristan, of course.

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The truth is far more interesting than the scope of the bad mood ?but you must address it before the mood disperses. To not allow these feelings at all is a cruel?form of self-limitation ?and freedom is where it?s at for deeper self-understanding. It could be that it was Wednesday. I have noticed that Wednesdays hit me at certain peaks, and there?s grieving for my sister who died on that day, ?but I was so pleased to discover 3 gorgeous black crows silently gliding above me. I felt blessed in that moment. 4 more crows came over the trees, and 4 others followed. Another crow was slow getting started and cawed 5 times as she went. A 13^th crow hurried behind. I?m in love with Anna in this.

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The mountain was well lit and in brown shades with faint remainders of orange. The sky was clear save for some long white streaks that widened and stretched to the mountain. I was dreaming for Anna. Shadows were dark and long. Trees waved with excitement. We may feel our worst?but do our best at the same time, in a dance of synchronicity and numbers. It was good simply to sit and then see vigilance through regions that needed attention. I was afraid it was all for naught, mired in liminal crap and feeling blind, but I was wrong, as 4 crows returned from their trip. They landed in the shimmering tree and a 5^th crow came to join them. This was making me feel better because I?am deeply in love with Anna in the midst of this.

? 12:07 pm???????????????? 12:07 pm????????????????? 12:21 pm

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My shadow function loves her sarcasm. My throat loves her red bite. My tearing off loves her abandon. My lost loves her losing things. My parasites love her rotting food. My rats love her kicking. My anxiety loves her criticism. My bills love her subtracting. My sword fight loves her stabbing. My wrecking crane loves her bulldozer. My dry rot loves her renovating. My helplessness loves her crutches. My bloody nose loves her surgery. My?accident loves her bandage. My vulnerability loves her heart. I love her lunar black bible verse from my Egyptian box?”And if thou draw out thy soul to the hungry; and satisfy the afflicted soul; then shall thy light rise in obscurity, and thy darkness be as the noon day.” Isaiah 58:10. I love Anna Dirksen.

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Meanwhile, it?s Halloween and Niles is having a party. Guests dress like characters from literature. Frasier and Daphne go as Chaucer and his saucy wife. ?On line 4, Ted is feeling a little disconnected. Ros is feeling out of sorts. She thinks she is pregnant, and she’s waiting for word from her doctor. Frasier invites her to?the party. Niles?mistakenly thinks Frasier got Daphne pregnant and challenges him to a duel. Niles has known Daphne for 4 years now and he wants to propose to her. Homer?s new hammock is a measure between comfort and evil. It makes clones of him. There are at least 23. One clone decapitates Ned Flanders with a chainsaw, and so Homer abandons them all in a field of corn. Ravenous clones are everywhere but “One handsome hubby is all I need” says Marge, while the kids bury their dead hamster. Lisa reads an old tombstone “I dream of a world without guns.”?Her campaign to ban every gun in town wins but the zombie dead come to life and they?re all gun-slinging cowboys. They take over and shoot everything. The scientist guy gives Homer a time machine to go back in the past and save all the guns.?Homer?explains to Lisa, “Future daddy double kills corpses so they won?t come back as zombies” so the family spends their vacation on the Island of Lost Souls. Something creepy is going on. In the House of Pain, Dr. Hibbert turns Marge into a cat woman. Ned Flanders needs milking as a cow. Maggie is an anteater, Lisa is an owl and Bart is a spider. Homer is a walrus. Aliens looking down on the island find the skull shape of it reminds them of their colleague #4. “Makes you think” because Michael wants George Michael to attend the Milford school in the next 4 years. It is all about his future. Lucille and Lindsay fight at a family restaurant. Michael thinks his new publicist is cute, and she suggests jobs for everyone. Michael has had sex with only 4 women but he thinks things are moving too fast and so the publicist spoils his name in the newspapers.

On the CBC News at Six, Michel Godbout wore a black jacket with grey pinstripes, a pale blue shirt and a black tie with white bands. A 3-year-old girl is dead after two teenaged boys age 17 and 18 slammed their cars into the girl playing among Halloween tombstones on the front lawn. Police are unsure what happened, if one driver cut the other one off. The teens were arrested and charges could follow after the police investigation.

White columns below and a 23-year-old man is in custody after a difficult surrender. He was wanted for breaking the conditions of his parole.? He climbed in and out of?a high window as if threatening to jump. During the hearings on reasonable accommodation, lawyer Guy Bertrand attacked the Canadiens Saku Koivu for not speaking French well enough. PJ Stock voiced his anger, saying that Koivu has done so much for Montreal and his team. It is an unfortunate linguistic issue, he said. Geeta Nadkarni was live at the Samuel Moskovich Arena, and dressed as a giant spider, with kids dressed in Halloween costumes and a high of 15-degrees.

White columns below and a dentist concerned with children’s tooth decay on the West Island offered to buy the?kids bags of Halloween candy at 2 dollars a kilo. She has $1,000 to spend. The candy will be shipped to Canadian Forces in time for Christmas.

Street gang violence is on the rise in Montreal but prosecuting street gangs is also a growing?problem. Having more prosecutors is a key with only 26 available to deal with gang files tied up in court. 60 more were needed in Ontario for a total of 90 and this made an improvement. But in Quebec, a $53 million investment toward it hasn?t been seen yet. As reported by Amanda Pfeffer in a black jacket. In Quebec City it?s been a year to this day since there?s been a murder on Halloween 2006. People feel safe and relaxed. There were just 7 murders in Quebec City last year. Police are at a loss to explain it, but 13 dedicated officers visit schools every day. As reported by Dan Halton.

A new poll suggests that Charest?s Liberals are rising in popularity. They are tied with the PQ at 31%. The ADQ?are at 28%. Stephen Harper?s government survived a vote of confidence on the budget update. Liberal leader Stephane Dion declared, “We will choose the time we want to defeat the government.” As reported by Julie Van Dusen in a black coat and black fur scarf. In Montreal a new cycling path is just about finished. It will span between Greene Avenue and Berri, followed by the commercial break.

An international panel of experts reviewed 5 years of cancer prevention and said obesity and fat may soon replace tobacco as the leading carcinogen. The panel recommends that we stay lean, exercise every day, eat plant-based food, avoid sugary drinks and eat meat sparingly. Obesity in Canada is increasing. As reported by Maureen Taylor in a black jacket and orange blouse.

Your Money and bagel prices are on the rise for the first time in 50 years at St-Viateur Bagel to keep up with a dramatic increase in wheat prices. Pasta prices are on the rise as well because corn crops pay more?for farmers since the increased demand for ethanol. A dozen bagels cost $5.75 today but tomorrow you will pay $6.10. The Canadian dollar closed above $1.05 US for the first time since 1967, followed by the closing numbers.

The CBC?s Fifth Estate uncovered new revelations about cash payments former Prime Minister Brian Mulrony received from Karlheinz Schreiber after he left office. The mysterious payments were handed over in hotels from a Swiss bank account. The Fifth Estate says Mulrony wanted to cover up payments but Schreiber said, “It was a clear request for perjury. ” As reported by Paul Hunter. The Fifth Estate will show the full story at 9 pm tonight. Geeta Nadkarni with a weather preview and a pretty good Halloween forecast but rain is on the way, to downtown at night, and the commercial break.

Live at the Samuel Moskovich Arena, Geeta Nadkarni with the weather and dressed in a multiple leg spider suit for Halloween. Michel said?the many legs suit her. The current temperature was 15 degrees from a high today of 18. Tonight it will go down to 9 with rain in the wee hours. Tomorrow it will rain all day with a high of 9 degrees, followed by the break.

Our World and a Spanish court acquitted the mastermind of the Madrid train bombings and this angered victim’s families. 191 were killed in 2004. Most of the 28 defendants were found guilty with 3 jail terms worth thousands of years. 7 were acquitted including Mohammad the Egyptian. The victims will appeal. Many can still remember when the bombs tore apart 10 cars on 4 trains, leaving 1,800 wounded. As reported by David Common in a black jacket, white shirt and red and white striped tie.

In Russia there was a bomb explosion on a bus that killed 8 people and wounded 50 more. In Afghanistan, more than 200 Taliban fighters have been surrounded by Afghan troops along with Canadian and US forces, for the third day in a row, as reported by Carolyn Dunn in a black coat. Thai police are searching for the arrest of a Canadian man wanted for the sexual assault of an 8-year-old Thai boy?and arrested?another man that was sending child porn to the UK. The man could face 15 years in jail. A boy confesses to starting one of the California Wildfires, and US jury awarded a man $11 million in damages?from a fundamentalist religious group picketed the funeral of the man?s son who died fighting in Iraq. The?religous group?claim the war in Iraq is payback for America’s tolerance of?homosexuality. Their plaques read “Thank God for Dead Soldiers.” Geeta Nadkarni with loads of kids dressed for Halloween followed by the break.

PJ Stock for Stock Talk in a black jacket, with a white shirt and grey tie. The Canadiens played their worst game of the season against the worst team of the league. The language issue with Saku Koivu upset PJ, who reminded that the government does not own the Canadiens. Koivu can speak French but he is shy. He has done so much for the community, donating time and money to sick children of every language in Montreal. The game last night was terrible but the Canadiens managed to steal a point. A last weather check with Geeta and mild tonight at 9 degrees. Tomorrow it will rain all day. Michel wished viewers a happy and safe Halloween and signed off for the evening.

I?m Frank Remus in Montreal for this Krimson News diary-blog of loving and dreaming and brief CBC News at Six re-reportage of abandon, aging, anger, annoying, awful, blasting, cracking, crashing, crisis, dangerous, defective, deficient, disabling, dominating, exhausting, falling, fighting, gashing, harming, hitting, impairing, incapacitating, injurious, irritating, maiming, malfunction, malicious, malignant, misfortune, mishap, offending, plundering, pounding, pulling apart, punishment, quarrel, ravaging, renovating, shocking splitting, stealing, stinging, unfortunate, victimizing, violence, vulnerability, war and wrecking.

Wounding

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I love Anna Dirksen

My Throat Loves Her Red Bite

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